So...tomorrow's the big day! I'm going to load up my car and drive to visit a friend I haven't really had any QT with in over a year. I'm so excited to get to just hang out; thrilled that our schedules finally meshed together well enough for me to get to spend a few days with her before my new job starts.
Really, I can't wait for girl time. To see her when I talk to her instead of talking into a phone. I spend so much of my life on the phone it seems. I have been blessed with wonderful friends. Seriously, God has blessed me more than I deserve. But all of my wonderful friends are spread literally around the globe. And, except for a select few whom I cherish dearly, lots of those friendships are maintained mainly through the telephone.
All this is to say that I have several things to look forward to. Visiting friends, having friends get back from being out of town, and having friends come visit me. I'm excited to make some wonderful new memories with people that I love...those both near and far.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Untitled
Today was a weird day. It was both wonderful and sad, the epitome of bittersweet. You see, like I mentioned earlier, today was the last service held in my home church. After today they will start meeting in their new facility, a few miles down the road. What's the difference in a few miles? Not a lot and absolutely everything.
I worry now that the connection I had maintained there will not exist anymore. There have been several times throughout the past 6 years that the only thing that made that church feel like coming home were the wonderful memories attached to the location. I remember running barefoot up the long hallway while I was in elementary school. I remember painting the pit walls black and then having to scrub the carpet because people tracked the black paint everywhere. I lost myself in worship countless times, cried over disappointment and cried tears of joy as well. Ultimately, I grew up there.
And I dreamed of getting married there. Of having that wonderful moment in a place that has meant so much.
But like so many other things in life, it wasn't meant to be. And even though it's nagging at me like a paper cut right now, I am excited for the church and their new building. They need the space and can use this facility so much to reach the community. Selfishly, I just feel less a part of the church now that they've moved. And that makes me sad. Really? I long to be connected again, to feel a part of something like I used to there.
A nostalgic post tonight, I know, and I apologize. I'm going on vacation this week and I think the time away from responsibilities and stress is just what I need to rejuvenate some. I'm sure countless stories of laughter and good times will follow, so tonight just hang with me. I needed to express some of the feelings I was having to start getting past them.
I worry now that the connection I had maintained there will not exist anymore. There have been several times throughout the past 6 years that the only thing that made that church feel like coming home were the wonderful memories attached to the location. I remember running barefoot up the long hallway while I was in elementary school. I remember painting the pit walls black and then having to scrub the carpet because people tracked the black paint everywhere. I lost myself in worship countless times, cried over disappointment and cried tears of joy as well. Ultimately, I grew up there.
And I dreamed of getting married there. Of having that wonderful moment in a place that has meant so much.
But like so many other things in life, it wasn't meant to be. And even though it's nagging at me like a paper cut right now, I am excited for the church and their new building. They need the space and can use this facility so much to reach the community. Selfishly, I just feel less a part of the church now that they've moved. And that makes me sad. Really? I long to be connected again, to feel a part of something like I used to there.
A nostalgic post tonight, I know, and I apologize. I'm going on vacation this week and I think the time away from responsibilities and stress is just what I need to rejuvenate some. I'm sure countless stories of laughter and good times will follow, so tonight just hang with me. I needed to express some of the feelings I was having to start getting past them.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Garage Sales
Yesterday I spent a few hours cleaning the things I had decided to sell in the garage sale with my sister and brother in law. And then I had to figure out pricing...which is always tricky for me. On the one hand, I'm fully aware that the furniture I'm selling isn't new. And it's not designer by any means. On the other hand, it's in really good shape. So I go back and forth between thinking I'm asking a lot and thinking I'm asking too little. This is especially true when someone I know wants to buy something I'm selling. Oh well...we just do the best we can, and it's not the end of the world at all either way.
Tomorrow we'll have day two of the sale and then we are cooking out with the fam tomorrow night. I'm really looking forward to it, to hanging out with my sister and her new husband as well as eating with my parents tomorrow night. All in all, it's a good weekend I think.
I'm starting to get more information about work next year. I both want more info and want to run away from it. I am the daughter of contradiction it seems. Nothing new there!
Tomorrow we'll have day two of the sale and then we are cooking out with the fam tomorrow night. I'm really looking forward to it, to hanging out with my sister and her new husband as well as eating with my parents tomorrow night. All in all, it's a good weekend I think.
I'm starting to get more information about work next year. I both want more info and want to run away from it. I am the daughter of contradiction it seems. Nothing new there!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Have dog, will travel
I had a flat tire today. It was just the latest in my own personal comedy of errors. Really, for a Wednesday, it's already been full of mini-calamities! I was on my way to my parents' house and the next thing I know I'm hearing the distinctive sound of loose rubber on my tire. This is never a good sound and actually, looking at my tire that is now sitting in my trunk, I'm very fortunate I didn't lose control of my car on the highway! I've had a couple of flats in my life, but never one that occurred while I was driving.
Changing the subject, this weekend will be a busy one. A garage sale on Friday and Saturday (I'll spend some time tomorrow getting ready for it), and Sunday I'll be going to church for the last time in the church I grew up in. The church itself isn't disbanding or anything, it's just moving. To a wonderful, bigger, more appropriately equipped building just a few miles down the road. I'm determined to go to the last service in the old building. So, while it's not the most practical thing to do, I'm going.
I'm happy for the church and I know that it's a good thing...but it's a big change in my life. While I've not been a regular attender of that church for several years, it has been a constant nonetheless. Anytime I happened to be back in town I could go there and feel connected somehow. Not with the church itself or even the people all the time...I guess the place is just full of wonderful memories for me. And has some connections with some unfulfilled dreams as well. You see, I always wanted to get married in that church. It wasn't the prettiest or grandest of locations, but in many ways walking in those doors was always like going home. I've never been the girl who dreams in details about her wedding. If marriage is something I have in my future, I think that the details about the wedding will get worked out then. But the one thing I always knew I wanted was to get married in that church. As insignificant as it may be, it's hard to let go of that dream.
There's more behind it than a location, and I know it...but sometimes we focus on the small things rather than the large ones.
Changing the subject, this weekend will be a busy one. A garage sale on Friday and Saturday (I'll spend some time tomorrow getting ready for it), and Sunday I'll be going to church for the last time in the church I grew up in. The church itself isn't disbanding or anything, it's just moving. To a wonderful, bigger, more appropriately equipped building just a few miles down the road. I'm determined to go to the last service in the old building. So, while it's not the most practical thing to do, I'm going.
I'm happy for the church and I know that it's a good thing...but it's a big change in my life. While I've not been a regular attender of that church for several years, it has been a constant nonetheless. Anytime I happened to be back in town I could go there and feel connected somehow. Not with the church itself or even the people all the time...I guess the place is just full of wonderful memories for me. And has some connections with some unfulfilled dreams as well. You see, I always wanted to get married in that church. It wasn't the prettiest or grandest of locations, but in many ways walking in those doors was always like going home. I've never been the girl who dreams in details about her wedding. If marriage is something I have in my future, I think that the details about the wedding will get worked out then. But the one thing I always knew I wanted was to get married in that church. As insignificant as it may be, it's hard to let go of that dream.
There's more behind it than a location, and I know it...but sometimes we focus on the small things rather than the large ones.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
...at least I'm flying free
The number of boxes in my new place is steadily decreasing. Maybe not as quickly as I would wish, but decreasing nonetheless. As quiet as it seems around here, today made me feel like this may be possible and even positive after all. This apartment has a whole new feel to it. It feels safe, and open and a place that I won't be embarrassed to have people over. It's not luxurious by any means, but it's comfortable and things are starting to find their place.
I have cable of my own, for the first time in my life. For the last three years cable has been an unnecessary expense and while it isn't a requirement at all now, it is nice that I will now be able have it. And I'm splurging with DVR as well.
I don't have a lot to say today, I'm tired and have been fighting a headache all day, but I didn't want the thought about blogging to be fleeting and it seems like writing even when I don't have anything to write about is the best way to give this a good try.
That's all for tonight. I'll just keep flying solo for now.
I have cable of my own, for the first time in my life. For the last three years cable has been an unnecessary expense and while it isn't a requirement at all now, it is nice that I will now be able have it. And I'm splurging with DVR as well.
I don't have a lot to say today, I'm tired and have been fighting a headache all day, but I didn't want the thought about blogging to be fleeting and it seems like writing even when I don't have anything to write about is the best way to give this a good try.
That's all for tonight. I'll just keep flying solo for now.
Monday, August 2, 2010
False Starts and Semi-New Beginnings
I am in a season of semi-new beginnings. I have moved into a new apartment but I've moved back to a town that I lived in as a student for 6 years. I have a new position that will begin in a couple of weeks but it's at the University I have been a part of for a long time. Even this blog is a semi-new beginning. I started it once a year ago and never really got into it, so it's sat here...just waiting for me to get started again, so I'm giving it another try.
Semi-New Beginnings are interesting things. They aren't all shiny and new. Honestly while they are as full of potential as any other beginning, they also come with the baggage, both good and bad, of previous experiences, of previous disappointments and previous successes. So I'm here, trying to figure out what exactly is ahead in this next year. A year that is sure to be full of things that are new and things that are old hat and things that are somewhere in between.
For now I am trying to chase the lonely quiet out of a new apartment. It's a nice place, full of light and space, with tall ceilings, but it was a bit of a bumpy ride getting here. First of all, I decided to take advantage of this particular apartment's furnished option, but when I got here on Sunday only half of the furniture is here, which makes settling in rather difficult. We spent all of Sunday afternoon unloading cars and starting to organize the apartment. After a few hours my parents (who had come to help me move in) and I realized that the air conditioning wasn't working. What happened next was a whirlwind of calls to apartment management, decisions and changed minds until I ended up in a model apartment, overnight bag and dog in tow. Today I spent the whole day waiting around in the cold if impersonal model waiting and waiting and waiting to get back into my new place. After several delays Sancho the dog and I made the commute back down the block to my new place and I've finally started trying to settle in, my old friend Van Morrison playing from the sound system plugged in behind the boxes.
So...I'm a bit behind where I wanted to be on getting things unpacked and put away. It's a process, I suppose, any time one moves. But my process seemed to have a few false starts along the way.
But, I'm here now, moving in and trying my hand at this blogging thing once again. It should be an interesting year, even though I'm currently feeling rather unsettled. To be honest, my life is nothing like I'd hoped it would be at this point in time. It's not all bad, it's not all good, it's just different. Very different. I know eventually I'll get settled in and find my way, but for now I'm just flying solo and figuring things out one day at a time.
Semi-New Beginnings are interesting things. They aren't all shiny and new. Honestly while they are as full of potential as any other beginning, they also come with the baggage, both good and bad, of previous experiences, of previous disappointments and previous successes. So I'm here, trying to figure out what exactly is ahead in this next year. A year that is sure to be full of things that are new and things that are old hat and things that are somewhere in between.
For now I am trying to chase the lonely quiet out of a new apartment. It's a nice place, full of light and space, with tall ceilings, but it was a bit of a bumpy ride getting here. First of all, I decided to take advantage of this particular apartment's furnished option, but when I got here on Sunday only half of the furniture is here, which makes settling in rather difficult. We spent all of Sunday afternoon unloading cars and starting to organize the apartment. After a few hours my parents (who had come to help me move in) and I realized that the air conditioning wasn't working. What happened next was a whirlwind of calls to apartment management, decisions and changed minds until I ended up in a model apartment, overnight bag and dog in tow. Today I spent the whole day waiting around in the cold if impersonal model waiting and waiting and waiting to get back into my new place. After several delays Sancho the dog and I made the commute back down the block to my new place and I've finally started trying to settle in, my old friend Van Morrison playing from the sound system plugged in behind the boxes.
So...I'm a bit behind where I wanted to be on getting things unpacked and put away. It's a process, I suppose, any time one moves. But my process seemed to have a few false starts along the way.
But, I'm here now, moving in and trying my hand at this blogging thing once again. It should be an interesting year, even though I'm currently feeling rather unsettled. To be honest, my life is nothing like I'd hoped it would be at this point in time. It's not all bad, it's not all good, it's just different. Very different. I know eventually I'll get settled in and find my way, but for now I'm just flying solo and figuring things out one day at a time.
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